The old dusty box in the back of the closet, or stashed out in the garage with the tools. It used to be that men would hide their pornography from their significant others as if it were plutonium and a plot to take over the world. The thought of the wife finding the ‘porn stash’ would bring to mind visions of prisoner camps, bamboo under the fingernails and strange, ball-crushing contraptions. Or at least some visions of sleeping on the couch and cut off from sex for a long period of time. Nowadays it seems as though the practice of hiding pornography is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Well, at least in the polls that I have taken on my Facebook fan page, it is. I’m still not sure how accurate those polls were (I think maybe the porn hiders weren’t even voting.) What was intriguing, and admittedly a little refreshing, were the number of people who voted “We enjoy it together.” A whopping 37%!

“We use porn in our sex life sometimes. Nothing hardcore. Mostly Andrew Blake. Girl on Girl stuff turns my wife on. Even though she has never been with a woman she is sexually attracted to them.” Says one Facebook poll voter.

Another interesting side note about those who voted “We enjoy it together” is that 23% of those who chose that answer, were women. Could it be that women are changing and enjoying pornography more than they used to, or has it just become more acceptable for them to admit it? (I think I see another poll coming.)

At any rate the question still remains, ‘should you tell her about your porn watching habits?’ I don’t think there is really a black and white answer to this question. Let’s be honest, it really depends on the attitude of the other person and, quite frankly, the level of your habit.

“My significant other absolutely hates it, whether its erotica or hardcore, so I enjoy it discreetly…wish it were otherwise, but what can you do?” Says a Facebook friend.

But this feedback brings to light another question for me. Is she aware that you enjoy it discreetly or do you have to hide it altogether? Unfortunately this friend just commented but did not vote. One might assume from his answer that he hides it, however, from my personal experience that wouldn’t necessarily be the case. I myself am not into porn. I’m burned out on it. It does nothing for me (most of the time) but I don’t mind if my husband enjoys it once in awhile when we are apart. This is something that we have talked about, so in this case it would not be hidden. Get my point?

One Facebook poll voter had this to say about telling your significant other: “Most definitely. That way she knows what turns me on or off. If she wasn’t interested, I probably picked the wrong partner. Nice not to have that problem!”

So what about those who do hide it from their significant other? What are the repercussions if it’s found? It stands to reason that if your porn watching habit is a large part of your life, it should be discussed at the beginning of the relationship so beliefs and boundaries can be established. But if it’s just an occasional indulgence maybe it doesn’t have to be discussed at all. Are we blurring the line between honesty and privacy? On the one hand we would like to be as honest as possible with our mate, but on the other hand how much honesty is too much?

I think I’ll save that topic for another time.

-KK