Today, I was in a conversation with a young Colombian lady named Ariana, and she asked why she should believe what I had said to her about myself, so I have some thoughts about Trust and Relationships.  With online dating allowing for a high degree of anononymity, how do we know something is real, how do we know, for example, that photos are real, or that the person is really looking for a relationship, and it is not a scam, or someone with a partner looking for an escape?

First, I would say that TRUST is essential, not optional, as it is a core part of building a stable relationship. But how is trust built?  Are there any shortcuts to gaining trust?  Well, we can be as open and honest as possible, and not write things that are deceptive or misleading.  Obviously there is a urge to fluff one’s qualifications, add in a puppy photo guaranteed to affect a potential partner’s heart and increase a chance of a date.  Women often reduce their weight slightly, men might grow an inch in height. So is this puffery deceptive, or is it Marketing-101? I would say, keep all puffery to a very low level, or not at all.

How to build trust in Online Dating

1. Time
2. Patience
3. Open and Honest Communication
4. Don’t ask too many personal questions
5. Be open and clear about your relationship goals
6. Be ON TIME
7. Don’t contact the person too often – be aware of their schedule and responsibilities
8. Offer References – bring a quality friend along and do a double date. Be careful as you will not want to bring a friend with strange habits in eating or excessive drinking.
9. Arrange safe and Secure transportation – it is your responsibility to make sure your date gets home safely, whether you get them a taxi, or they drive themselves, make sure they are safe.
10. Thanks, Ariana! (my inspiration for this note)

Have a fantastic day,

Mike